Always and Forever
by PhoenixB
Summary: Meilin finds herself in a dangerous situtation and only one person seems able to save her. A Meili fic, so you are warned!


Notes: I don't own CardCaptors and make no money from this work.   
This is a Meili fic so if you don't like that...well go somewhere else ^_^ Please no flames from S&S fans...we all hold our opinions. (Thanks!)  
Also, the timeline is as follows: The flash back is when all are fourteen, four years after the series start. The present story line is when all are sixteen. Get it? Got it? Good! ^_^  
Finally, I would say this is PG/PG-13. It has violence, angst, and death so read at your own will.  
  
Thank you And I love reviews ^_^  
  
ALWAYS AND FOREVER  
By: PhoenixB  
(send FB to PhoenixB_82@hotmail.com)  
  
~*~  
  
Two years. It was hard to believe that it had already been two years since my life changed so drastically. Two years since my heart quietly crumbled inside of me. Two years since those fateful words 'I love you' came out of his mouth and were directed at another. Goodness, two years was a long time to be depressed, wasn't it? But, I know I'm not suicidal.   
  
I could never do that. I'm stronger than that; to kill myself would be the easy way out. And *I* never do things the easy way. I'm a warrior and always fight battles to win. But, now the battle is within me and I'm losing. I battle everyday to force myself out of my bed and make myself go to school. I put on a false smile and false confidence, when really, I want nothing more than to go home and cry. Cry till all my tears are gone. And then cry some more.   
  
But I don't cry.   
  
I *never* cry, because I am Meilin Rae and Meilin Rae doesn't cry. Meilin is strong and fearless and independent. She is always ready for a fight. At least she use to be. That Meilin, the daring, outgoing, and confident one, is from two years ago. Now, on the inside, I'm just a tired, lonely, heart broken sixteen-year-old. All this Meilin wants is her friend, her love, her soulmate back.  
  
All I want is *my* Li back.   
  
Two years have past, I remember everything as clearly as if it was yesterday. We (myself, Li, Sakura and Madison) just finished out forth period and went to lunch. We all laughed and joked together, like friends. And we *were* friends. We had now known each other for over four years and had grown to tolerate and even like each other.   
  
At lunch, I, of course, sat closer to Li, but not enough to suffocate him. Over the years I had allowed my love from him to be shown in a much more appropriate way. A kiss on the cheek here, and tight embrace there. Anything that allowed him to know that my heart *still* belonged to him. I was content because this seemed to please my Li more, and if he was happy, so was I.   
  
As we sat at lunch, I remember glancing up at Li a few times and noted that he never seemed to take his eyes off Sakura. I won't lie, over the years Sakura had become a pretty teenager. Her hair had grown out some and kept its glossy shine, and her green eyes had grown deeper with maturity. But she was still *Sakura* and I thought that was all. I was wrong. To Li she was someone special.   
  
Someone that had stolen his heart away from me.   
  
When we finished lunch, I helped Madison with our trash. When I headed out the door towards Li and Sakura, my heart broke into a million pieces. There, in plain daylight, was *my* Li kissing Sakura! I instantly felt tears come to my eyes, but held them back. Meilin *does not* cry and I wouldn't cry in front of Li. However, I stepped closer and caught the end of Li's speech to Sakura. To this day I can still repeat it:  
  
*"I knew you were special when I first saw you, but I never knew how much. Over the past four years I've realized that you make my life complete. You give me hope and light on the darkest days. I love you, Sakura, and only hope that you love me too."*  
  
I couldn't believe it. I was the one supposed to give Li hope. *I* was *his* light. Not her! But then, I heard her answer:  
  
*"I love you too, Li. And hope we'll always be together."*  
  
The tears were held back no more. I quickly turned around with a loud sob and ran smack into Madison. I looked up into her violet eyes and could see the sympathy in them. No matter what differences we may have shared, Madison knew my love for Li was true.   
  
As was my pain then.   
  
I felt the hot tears course down my face, but I couldn't allow Madison to comfort me. I violently pushed her out of my way and preceded to sprint down the street. Finally, I came to a stop in front of a small river and collapsed to the ground. I sobbed into the cool grass over my loss.  
  
I sobbed for my inability to keep the one person I loved by my side.  
  
I sobbed because I knew I lost.  
  
And I sobbed because I knew my soulmate belong to another.  
  
I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember waking up. I opened my eyes and saw an angel. There was *my* Li carrying me in his arms just like a handsome, valiant knight. I contently closed my eyes and allowed my head to snug into his chest. I can still hear his heart beat to this day. The next moment, I was in my bed with Li by my side. He was staring down sadly at me and I knew that he was no longer *my* knight.   
  
He was Sakura's.  
  
Tears began to fall down my cheeks, but I tried to brush them away. Li found my hand and grasped it gently.  
  
*"Meilin, I'm *so* sorry you had to find out like this. I never meant to hurt you, but I do love Sakura. You are my best friend and know me better than anyone else, but you're also like my sister. I am so sorry. Things will never change though, don't you worry."*  
  
I smiled up at him and placed my hand to his face. He may not be *my* Li, but I wasn't going to abandon him just yet. And if being with Sakura made him happy that was what I wanted him to do.  
  
*"Promise they won't change?"*  
  
Li smiled down at me for a moment and then brushed away a stray tear.  
  
*"I promise you."*  
  
Well, Li, you broke that promise. Not but a week later things changed. It was no longer 'where's Li and Meilin?' It was, 'where's Li and Sakura?'. I was an old toy that Li threw out.   
  
Nothing more and nothing less.   
  
And now, two years later, things have changed even more. I no longer even try to talk to my Li. We smile and say our hellos, but nothing more. We no longer spend lunches together, we no longer train together, we are no longer together. I can't even recall the last time it was just him and I talking. It has to have been over a year ago.   
  
A year too long.  
  
Every time I think back to the times before Japan, before Sakura, I only wish that things could be like that. I miss my Li.  
  
And I miss my old self. I am completely hollow now. There's no longer any spark of the old Meilin; I'm just a body.  
  
No soul.  
  
Today, was no different. I woke up, went through my day of classes, came home, trained a little, and did homework. By nine o' clock I was in my bed trying to sleep.  
  
I had barely drifted off when the tapping began. It was soft at first, but slowly the tapping became hitting and then I could have sworn that whatever was hitting my window almost broke it. With a loud sigh, I rose out of bed, put on my robe, and headed towards my window. I suppose I was so asleep that it didn't ever register that this could be anyone dangerous. I gently opened the window and then felt the weight and whomever was outside atop me when they jumped on me.  
  
Their weight threw me to my floor and I barely had time to struggle before it knock me out. My last thought was that it didn't matter what happened to me because I was dead on the inside.  
  
Blackness followed my depressing thought.  
  
And this is where I now am. I'm tied to a chair, with my hands behind my back and my feet on opposite legs of the chair. I know I'm in trouble. How on Earth will anyone find me here? Li is out late with Sakura, besides what can he do? He probably will figure I'm off with someone.   
  
By then it will be too late.  
  
I notice a door in front of me and realize it is the only means of entrance or departure. So, I rationalize, even if I get out of the chair, the chances of actually making it away from my captors is about one in a thousand. Discontented, I sigh and wait for someone to join me in my room.  
  
My wait is short and soon I see the door opening. In front of me stands two men. One, rather large and menacing looking, smirks down at me and I shudder to think what he's thinking. Another, the shorter and kind of pudgy man, lifts my chin so I look him straight in the eyes. I'm frighten by their blackness. I can sense, even without magic, that this man is business and has killed before.   
  
Suddenly, I'm scared, very scared.  
  
"This is her?"  
  
The tall one nods.  
  
"I thought you said she had brown hair?" The short man pulls my hair roughly to show it to the other. "This is black."  
  
I keep any noises of pain to myself and finally he releases my hair and looks back down at me.  
  
"Are you her?"  
  
I stare, confused. Who? I voice my question. "Who?"  
  
"The Clow Mistress, Sakura."  
  
Oh man, oh man, oh man! He thinks I'm Sakura? Good lord! I want to scream 'I wish I was!' Because then Li would be mine, however I am interested as to why this man would want Sakura.  
  
"Who wants to know?" My quick-tongue only gives me a quick and painful slap to the face. I mentally note that I need to play it cool from now on.  
  
"I will ask the questions! Now are you the Clow Mistress?"  
  
This is my chance. I say no and these men go after Sakura, which leave Li all by himself. Grieving. Already my mind is calculating my chance of helping Li through his pain of losing Sakura. But I stop myself. Who says these men would even let me go? Besides, how on earth could I put Sakura in danger? * My* Li loves her.  
  
"Yes. Yes I am."  
  
The man grins evilly and I realize I'm in danger of my life and in way over my head.   
  
"Good, now contact Li Showron."  
  
"What!?!" Again, the 'Meilin-mouth' gets the best of me and I find I have already spoken before any thought makes it to my brain. Another slap, this one more painful and probably bruising, meets my cheek.  
  
"Again, I ask the questions, but for your information. I could care less about you. I am after Li Showron. He has the power I need."  
  
The Lasin Board.   
  
I know that's what he wants and don't even need to ask. That is the most powerful weapon Li has. I want to laugh out-loud as I realize the man's plan.  
  
I'm a pawn. Somehow these men watched my Li, although apparently not too closely since they mistake me for Sakura, and they captured me hoping to set a trap for him. They think I'm the one Li loves. They think Li is going to rush here to save me; willingly giving up his most important possession.  
  
They really have a surprise waiting for them.  
  
I am nothing to Li, now. I am merely a shadow. His heart, soul and being, belong to Sakura. He has no need for me.  
  
I chuckle in spite of myself, but the men do not hear, they are busy with the phone. The irony is over-whelming.   
  
They wanted the one Li loves and they got me.  
  
Little ol' Meilin Rae.  
  
I must have blacked-out because the next moment I feel the phone being thrust painfully next to my ear. I glance up and see the littler man in front of me.  
  
"Tell your precious Li that we have you and want the Lasin Board."  
  
The phone rings twice before I hear my angel's voice.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
I find I cannot speak. I want to beg him to come and save me, but the Lasin Board is too high a price. I know that anyone with magic could use the Board for their own will. I wager that these men have a plan and, no doubt, the plan is evil.  
  
I cannot allow them to take the Board.   
  
I clamp my mouth shut and turn away from the phone. The man gets my drift. He grabs my hair and yanks my head back quickly. A small cry escapes my throat.   
  
The man leans his head down next to my ear and whispers. "Tell him or you die."  
  
I want to state; 'so what?', but I really don't want to die. I'm only sixteen for goodness sakes. I nodded my head as much as I can and turned back to the phone. Li must have known it was important because I can hear him breathing on the other line.  
  
I swallow hard. "Hello, Li."  
  
"Meilin?" The air of confusion is even clear on the phone.  
  
"Yes. It's me." I notice the two men standing menacingly close. "I need your help."  
  
Li's voice turns serious. "What is it?"  
  
I open my mouth to speak and find I can't do it. I cannot make my Li come here to save me. I love him too much to put him in danger. Tears begin to roll down my face, but I don't stop them. Words tumble out of my mouth in hiccups between the sobs.  
  
"I'm...I'm so...so very sorry! I never...ever...want....wanted any of this. I love you so...so much, Li. Too much. Please...please just love her as...as...I love...loved you." My throat closes up.  
  
"Meilin?!? What's happening?" His concern is so strong that I can picture him gripping the phone tighter. I continue to sob as the man takes the phone away.  
  
In the distance I can hear him talking into the phone. I know he's telling Li that he has me, the Card Mistress Sakura. By now, Li is probably so confused his head is spinning, but he'll listen carefully and follow the man's instructions. Suddenly, my sobs stop.   
  
Li will come regardless of what I just said.   
  
I find my voice again. "Li, don't come! It's a *trap*! Do you hear me? If you ever loved me *don't come*!!" My cries are cut off when the larger man places his dirty hand over my mouth.  
  
I only hope that Li follows my last plea.  
  
The smaller man hangs up the phone and stands still for a long moment. He clenches and releases his fist. I've made him angry. Very angry and I almost know what's going to happen next.  
  
He turns and his face is a mixture of pure hate and rage. I want nothing more than to close my eyes, but I stare up at him defiantly. He steps slowly closer and I am vaguely aware that the larger man has removed his hand from my mouth. The smaller man bends down so he is level with me. Our eyes continue to meet.  
  
"You will pay for that." I only see his fist head towards my face. The next moment is black.  
  
Again, I awake. This time sore and hurting from head to toe. I am almost grateful that I was knocked unconscious because by the way my ribs and head hurt, the man, or men, really did a number. I notice I'm no longer in the chair, but still in the same room lying on the floor. I roll into a sitting position and quickly look over my battered body. I notice I have a large gash on my forehead, no doubt from whenever the men threw me to the floor. I also notice large bruises on my upper arm.  
  
I gently lift the lower part of my nightshirt, only mentally thanking myself for wearing my flannel outfit as opposed to my sleep gown. Under my flannel shirt I only see a mass of black, blue, red and green bruises. No doubt ribs have been fracture and broken. I feel around the small of my back and wince as I hit sensitive spots. I realize the men must have thrown me to the ground and then preceded to kick me until they were satisfied.  
  
All in all, I believe I got away fairly well off for the size of the men.  
  
The door is opened and I see the same men walk in. Without a word, the larger man roughly pulls me to my feet, inciting a cry of pain from me, and stands me up. He pulls my arms back and holds them tightly.   
  
The man then follows his companion out of the room pushing me all the way. With wavering steps, I'm lead out of the room. I don't bother to keep my head up and instead allow my neck to bend and focus on the ground at my feet. It seems like ages that we walk until the shorter man halts and so do we.  
  
I now look up and notice we are in a semi-larger room. I vaguely rationalize that we must be in a warehouse and earlier I must have been held in a small office. I stand silently as I wait for the next step to happen.  
  
My wait is cut short by a soft knocking at the door. The small man goes to it and opens it. If the tall man had not been supporting me I would have fallen to the ground, because as soon as the door was opened, Li and Sakura step in.  
  
Tears well up and I silently berate myself for being so weak, but I cannot help it. Li came to save me even after I told him not to.  
  
Even after I told him that if he ever loved me he wouldn't come. Reality hits me in the face. He never loved me; my choice of words sucked.  
  
Li and Sakura step silently into the room and soon the group of five of us are standing in a semi-circle with me in front of the large man; nearly in the center. I can feel Li's eyes on me and, against my will, look up. I see his amber eyes filled with pain because of me.  
  
Because of me?  
  
For the first time I look towards Sakura and she offers me a small smile. She mouths the words 'he loves you' and I feel my knees go weak. I have no idea what's happening but I rush my eyes back to Li and he gives me the warmest smile ever.  
  
Then I feel my heart beat faster as I watch his lips.   
  
He mouths, 'I love you'.   
  
The three words I have always wanted to hear finally coming out of *my* Li's mouth towards *me*!  
  
I jumped against the tall man's arms. "I love you!" The cry is weak, but I mean it nonetheless.   
  
I love him.  
  
And he loves me!  
  
My life is prefect. I feel tears stream down my face, but they're for joy. I love him and he loves me. Again, reality slaps me in the face as the small man steps in front of Li.  
  
"No, Li! *Run*!!" My cry is stronger this time, but Li remains where he is.  
  
"What do you want with Meilin?"  
  
The smaller man cocks his head to one side. "Meilin? I thought she was the Clow Mistress Sakura? I thought she was your love."  
  
The man turns away from Li and faces me. "You told me *you* were the Clow Mistress!" His fury is rising again and I only pray that he directs it at me and not at Li or Sakura. "You little...little bitch!"   
  
The harsh name is met with an equally harsh slap. The tall man behind me release me and I fall to the ground. I see the man raise his foot and soon feel the contact to my already abused ribs. I cry out painfully and see the man drawn back his foot again. This time I curl into a small ball, with my hands over my head, and await the kick.  
  
It never comes.  
  
I hear a strange war cry and look up to see Li tackle the smaller man. They both tumble to the ground and come to a halt a few feet away. I roll to my hands and knees to watch the battle. Li grabs his sword from its holder on his back and stands in a fighting position. The smaller man rises to his feet laughing.  
  
The satanic laughing stops when the man is fully at his feet. I notice the flash of metal before Li.   
  
He has a gun.  
  
Faster than the Dash Card, I'm to my feet and crashing into Li. With my weight and speed, I feel us both skid across the ground; his sword falling from his hands and sliding away from us. The guns shot echoes through the empty warehouse, but I know we are out of danger's way. I hear the man scream at us and know we only have a second before he fires again.  
  
Li groggily starts getting to his feet.  
  
I see the gun raised again.   
  
The second is up.  
  
The trigger is pulled and I know the bullet will lodge itself into *my* Li's body.  
  
I can't allow that.  
  
I *won't* allow that.  
  
Jumping to my feet in front of Li, I feel the hot, searing pain as the bullet enters my abdomen. I feel the force of it push me back into my Li and I feel him catch me. He lowers me gently to the floor. I place my hand to my wound, but quickly feel Li push them out of the way and place his hands over my stomach. I feel his weight put atop the bullet hole as he attempts to stop the bleeding.  
  
For the first time I hear Sakura speak. She's sent out the Wood Card. I know the men are no match for the Card's magic and sigh contently knowing that they are as good as caught.  
  
My relief is short lived as the pain sets in. I gasp in shock, but focus on my Li. He is smiling down as he cradles my head. I can see tears in his eyes and I believe he fears for my life.  
  
I brush my hand against his face. A red trail from my blood leaves a smear, but he doesn't bother with it.  
  
"You're going to be just fine. I swear it." I smile weakly. I wish I could believe him, but he already broke one promise two years ago, what's to say he won't break this one?  
  
Nonetheless, I nod my head. "What...happened?" I know, without asking more, he knows what I mean. I want to know what happened between he and Sakura.  
  
I thought they loved each other and would be together forever.  
  
Li's soft voice fills the, now quiet, warehouse. "We realized our hearts lie elsewhere. We realized we were too young to understand love all those years ago. Together we were living a lie. We liked each other and cared for each other, but never loved each other. There was something always missing. A hole in both of our souls, that neither of us could fill for the other. But do you know who can fill mine?"  
  
I shake my head briefly.  
  
Li leans down and places a small kiss to my lips. "You."  
  
I cry. I don't want to, but I do. I cry because I know it's too late, I have my Li, but am going to lose him soon.   
  
I love him and now I'm going to lose him.   
  
It wasn't fair.  
  
"I...love...love...you...wi...with...all...heart." I gasp as the pain grows greater. "Always."  
  
"I love you also, my Meilin." He places another soft kiss, this time to my forehead. "Forever  
  
I hear my Li cry for me to stay as I close my eyes and off in the distance I hear the sound of sirens coming to save me.  
  
Just like Li's proclamation of love; I guess it's better late than never.  
  
I feel a few of Li's tears slip to my cheek and then there is no more pain.   
  
  
I loved you and you loved me,  
Beneath our lovely willow tree.  
  
I followed you when you left me,  
Away from our wonderful willow tree.  
  
I cared for you yet you hurt me,  
Miles from our fading willow tree.  
  
But, I found my light when you looked towards me,  
Just beyond reach of our willow tree.  
  
I dared to dream when you came to me,  
Distant from our blooming willow tree.  
  
I cried on you when you held me,  
Closer yet to our growing willow tree.  
  
I loved you and you loved me,  
Back beneath our lovely willow tree.  
  
I'll be with you and you with me,  
As I watch over of sacred willow tree.  
  
For I love you and you love me,  
Always and forever within reach of our willow tree.  
  
~*~  
  
Kind of sad, eh? I'm sorry about that, but I thought and thought on how to write more so that Meilin lived and, know what? Writer's block settled in so this is how I finished. The poem seemed to fit nicely, and yes, I know willows aren't in Hong Kong, but somehow I didn't have the heart to change it. Review, but, please, no flames!  
  
~PhoenixB_82@hotmail.com  
  
  



End file.
